greed means wanting an excessive share of affection, attention, money, time, control, or sacrifice while giving as little as possible in return. It treats the relationship as something to extract from or possess.
Beginning or dating: 0–2 weeks
- Expecting immediate exclusivity: “I’ve only known her for a week, but she shouldn’t be talking to anyone else.”
- Demanding constant attention: He expects immediate replies and becomes irritated when she spends time with friends or work.
- Taking without reciprocating: He gladly accepts rides, meals, gifts, or emotional support but rarely offers anything himself.
- Collecting admiration: He keeps her interested primarily because he enjoys being desired, even though he is unsure he wants a relationship.
- Pushing for more access: He continually asks for additional time, intimacy, or personal information after she has established a boundary.
Established relationship: 5+ weeks
- Monopolizing her free time: He expects every weekend to belong to him and treats her independent plans as rejection.
- Consuming emotional support: He regularly unloads his problems onto her but becomes unavailable when she needs to talk.
- Expecting unequal spending: He wants expensive dates or gifts from her while contributing as little as he can.
- Wanting every role fulfilled: He expects her to be his girlfriend, therapist, caretaker, social planner, and source of validation.
- Keeping his options open: He demands loyalty from her while continuing to flirt with others or seek outside attention.
Long-term relationship: 2+ years
- Taking more than his share: He routinely leaves most household work, planning, and emotional labor to her.
- Controlling shared resources: He treats jointly earned money, possessions, or space as primarily his.
- Consuming her ambitions: He expects her to postpone education, travel, or career goals to support his plans.
- Demanding endless reassurance: No amount of affection is sufficient; she must continually prove that she loves and prefers him.
- Refusing fair compromise: His hobbies, family, career, and comfort consistently receive priority over hers.
Marriage
- Financial domination: He hides money, restricts her access to accounts, or requires her to justify ordinary purchases while exempting himself.
- Claiming ownership of her labor: He expects cooking, cleaning, childcare, and emotional care without recognizing them as shared responsibilities.
- Accumulating personal luxuries: He spends freely on himself while insisting that the family cannot afford things she needs.
- Wanting credit for shared achievements: He speaks of the home, savings, or family success as something he built alone.
- Demanding sacrifice without limits: He expects her to give up time, friendships, opportunities, or security whenever doing so benefits him.
Termination of the relationship
- Trying to keep the benefits: He wants to end the commitment while continuing to receive affection, intimacy, money, housing, or emotional support.
- Fighting unfairly over possessions: He claims shared property—or sentimental objects meaningful to her—simply because he does not want her to have them.
- Refusing to release her attention: He repeatedly contacts her, not to repair the relationship, but to confirm that she still cares.
- Claiming the social circle: He pressures mutual friends to choose him and tries to leave her socially isolated.
- Using money as leverage: He delays repayment, conceals assets, or withholds agreed support to maintain power over her.
- Wanting her unavailable to others: He does not want reconciliation, yet becomes angry when she dates someone new.
The central belief behind this form of greed is: “Her time, affection, labor, loyalty, and resources should remain available to me, whether or not I give equally in return.”
Its opposing ember—generosity—doesn’t mean endless self-sacrifice. It means sharing fairly, respecting boundaries, reciprocating care, and wanting the other person to flourish even when her growth does not directly benefit him.
